Background on my husband.

It's been no secret for the past two years that I want to adopt a little boy with Down Syndrome! The time was never right. Something always got in the way. Either Ralph was really sick or we were flat broke or I was pregnant again.

My sweet husband saw my heart. He saw the pain and sorrow when one of my favorite boys was transferred to the mental institution and when others were taken home to be with Jesus. He knew that this desire was not going to go away. I even told him so!

When my last birthday was approaching I made it know that I wanted an orphan boy for my birthday. Of course, you and I both know that you don't just pop into the orphanage and order up and orphan to go! And, you and I both know that adoption is not about simply wanting another child. But, for my birthday, I wanted a commitment from him to move forward at last.

I got my birthday wish. We were out having dinner like we do on birthdays and I didn't even have to bring up the subject. He brought it up, we discussed it and it was a done deal. We would commit to Alec since he would soon be sent to an institution that he could not be adopted from.

Like many men that I know of, it took a long time for him to be ready to commit. Some have used the analogy of accelerator/brake to describe the wife/husband relationship when it comes to adoption...just as a car needs an accelerator AND a brake to safely drive a car a woman sometimes needs to be restrained and husband needs to be moved forward. Did I say that nicely?

Once the decision was made, however, he became the pusher and I became a drag! He was the first one done with his autobiography for the social worker. I thought he would faint when he saw this homework assignment, but he pressed on. I had trouble getting it together. Although I will say that mine was 13 pages and his was only 7! HA!

On Valentines Day he was looking at the photos of Alec and the boys from orphanage #9 and he asked me about Zhenya. He said why don't we bring him home, too? Huh? Was this MY husband speaking? I got the sweetest birthday and Valentines Day gifts this year!

Even so, I didn't realize how "on board" he was until last week when I snuck up behind him while he was working on the computer. He had taken the time to put together a photo display of all our children on his computer desktop and included Alec and Zhenya.

I think I'm understanding him better and it is good to know his heart. It can be difficult for a man to take these kind of risks with his heart. I think that is why many men are so reluctant to adopt.