Handling disappointment...or not so much.

I'm having a hard time with this:


Love those crib slats? How about the fact that this child's diaper is completely soaked? That this child won't be getting out of this bed today?

I just returned from Ukraine. Well, I've been home about a week. It takes me that long to get over the jet lag and process the whole experience. Add in some doctor appointments and a holiday and it seems to take forever to get back to normal.

You can read about the trip over at Project TLC. I just wanted to share my personal feelings here about what I experienced.

Even though it was plain to me that God had been very busy planning all sorts of wonderful moments for us to experience and inroads to make, the disappointments of the trip are weighing heavily on me. I know that God is working in these dark places, even we are not there, even when we are not thinking of them. He's very much in control.

So why doesn't He just fix things for these children? What is the purpose of it all?

Please don't forget the children living lives of quiet brutality in Eastern European orphanages. They are hidden treasure.

"Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest.” Luke 9:48

My friend Shelly

When you come here you get what I'm thinking about today. I'm not one to work on a blog post for more than a few hours, which is probably why the quality of my writing isn't all that great. I try to go back and work on my drafts, but I lose my train of thought and everything I wrote before sounds dumb, which is also why I rarely go back and read stuff I wrote awhile back!

Today I'm thinking about a very special family. A very special adopting family. This could be long!

I was cyber-introduced (meaning we have yet to meet in real life!) to Shelly after she and her husband adopted three, yes THREE!, children from Ukraine in 2010.

I had just finished a successful (praise God!) fundraiser for a little girl named Tori, when a very large donation was made to Tori's adoption grant fund. I was very surprised when Shelly and her family committed to adopting Tori, considering they had just adopted Hudson, Owen, and Evelyn earlier in the year.

Since Tori had lived at Yolochka (where Theo and Zhen lived) for her first four years, she was very special to me. Truthfully, all the Ukrainian orphans really tug on my heartstrings, but the ones from that particular baby house shatter me.

Shelly asked me about the other children I met at Yolochka. I told her about a little girl named Anastasiya who was utterly ignored. She would sit (sitting is really too nice a word) slumped over in a highchair for hours on end. Every.Single.Day.

Well, that was that, Shelly and her family agreed to adopt Anastasiya in addition to Tori! It always warms my heart when a family chooses the overlooked children, the funny looking ones, the delayed ones, the truly sick ones, the ones that no other family wants to chance. But those are the sort of people Shelly and her husband Brian are. They look past the outward appearance. They look at the unwanted and unloved children through the eyes of their creator. And they love them fiercely.

So you have probably guessed by now that Tori and Anastasiya were both adopted by Shelly and Brian early in 2011 and renamed Reagan and....CARRINGTON!! Yes, THE Carrington!

Over the past year, Shelly and I have become close friends. We take turns holding each other up. We understand each other. I can call her when I have a child eating Styrofoam, or mulch, or...poop!

Shelly knows the particular sort of despair that I suffer concerning the orphans of Ukraine. She has been there, done that. She gave me the courage to go ahead with Project TLC when I wasn't sure if I had anything to offer.

Now Shelly and Brian are adopting again. Yes!! WOW!! They were moved by the story of another bunch of very neglected children in another orphanage in Eastern Europe. Isn't that just amazing?

I just want to publicly thank Shelly for being such a wonderful and faithful friend to me. And I would love for you to visit her NEW ADOPTION BLOG and give her some bloggy love (that's bloggy speak for kind words and encouragement). Oh my stars! Aren't they a beautiful family?

While you are there, if you are so moved, you may want to throw a 10-spot into the pot to help Shelly and Brian with their adoption expenses. You could be chosen to receive an Apple 32GB iPad2 that they will be giving away later this month.

This sweet family is lovingly raising 7, soon to be 9, children, some with significant medical and therapeutic needs. They are making a life long commitment, financial and otherwise, to these children. I believe that donating to this cause is money well spent. It is a labor of love for them. I'm proud to chip in to assist with their adoption expenses. And I'm proud to ask you to consider doing the same.

I will not forget you.

Did you know that November is Adoption Awareness month? After my spectacular Down Syndrome awareness blog challenge failure, I will not be making any pledges this month.

But, I do want to bring awareness to some special children who need families and some special families who are working toward adoption.

Today is the perfect day to share my little lovey boy, Maxim!

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget, I will not forget you!”
Isaiah 49:15

Here is what a friend had to say about him just last week:

Maxim is one of the sweetest little boys I've ever met. He pats my arm in the most adorable, gentle way, and it absolutely melts my heart! He is now walking with very minimal assistance, and crawls faster than any other child I've ever met. He is a smart boy, and will follow directions (for example, come over to the carpet). He has an amazing attention span, and will bounce a ball back and forth with me for at least 20 minutes straight. He has the most wonderful laugh, and is a very joyful little guy! He has so much potential, someone please choose Maxim!!

Maxim has a large grant with the Reece's Rainbow adoption grant organization. It will go a long way toward helping offset the cost of his adoption. And, I'm not the only person who is in love with Maxim. Melissa over at http://journeytoapromise.blogspot.com/ has met and played with Maxim!!

Did you know that Maxim was on my short list? I really wanted to adopt that cute little guy but he had no grant money at the time and I was really worried about raising funds. Oh, so little faith! As it turned out, Theo really needed urgent medical care, so I can't say that we made a mistake. It just hurts to know that Maxim is still waiting.

There is another little boy with Down Syndrome living in the same institution as Maxim. This little boy needs out quickly. I fear that he...well, I fear for his health.

These two boys could be adopted together! And did you know that many Ukrainian adoption facilitators do not charge extra to adopt an additional child? That's right! I can put you in touch with some very friendly and very experienced professionals who will assist you in adopting both children with no extra charge for the second child.

Happy Adoption Awareness month! Tomorrow I'll share about a very special adopting family!

Another Theo?

How many of you have been touched by Theo and his amazing transformation?

It's really a miracle. Wouldn't you agree? I wish you could all meet him in person. I wish you could see how much I adore him.

How many of you were so moved that God has opened your heart to the possibility of adoption?

I'm aware that there may be a hundred Theos, probably many more. We know they exist, but we can't help them because we don't know where they are. They are hidden away behind walls of concrete as well as ignorance and shame.

But, what if?

What if you were made aware of a child like Theo? A child that was not in good condition. Not in a great situation. But, so full of promise. So tough. So loved by the God that created him.

Today I was made aware of such a child. Oh my heart!

I keep thinking how amazing it would be for someone who was inspired by Theo or Carrington to say "YES!" to this little boy. Perhaps someone already has.

But, I wonder how many of you are talking yourself out of rescuing a child like Theo. Your house may be too small. You don't think you could afford it. Your other children would suffer. I've heard it all. I've said it all myself!

Would you like more information? Email ProjectTLC@cox.net.

The Burden

When I was in Ukraine last year, I saw what I saw. And I can't forget it. And it wasn't a mistake. It was ordained. It was presented to me. Revealed to me. When it was presented to me, it became my problem.

No, not mine alone, but mine nonetheless. And now I've got to figure out what to do about it.

Here are some other people and organizations who are sharing the burden with me:

1. My neighbor, Rachel. Well, almost neighbors anyway! She's just 30 minutes down the road from me. She is adopting L'il V from St. P*te.
   
   Rachel is a lovely young single lady with a huge heart for orphaned children. She has a few fundraisers going on to help get over the final financial hump. Won't you visit her blog and give her some encouragement?
   
   
2. My friend, Faith, who is adopting again! This time saving a handsome young man with Down Syndrome, named Josiah, who was just transferred to a mental institution. Time is of the essence here people. Children who are transferred to institutions like his often develop mental illness. Some awesome young ladies are hosting a giveaway fundraiser for Josiah HERE.
   
   
3. A new special needs school has opened in Crimea, the southernmost region in Ukraine. You can sponsor children by assisting with their tuition HERE. These are children that otherwise might be stuck at home with no opportunity for an education, or worse, abandoned to life in a mental institution.
   
   
4. Don't forget about Project TLC. Serving the very least of the very least is what TLC does.

Won't you take a look at some of these links and help bear the burden, too?

Ideas anyone?

Well, the time has come. Project TLC now has it's own bloggy home. Yep! Finally.

Skip on over to http://project-tlc.blogspot.com/ and check out our ministry intro video. We'll have some more updates soon on our fall trip to Ukraine.

So now. What should I do with this space? It's feeling a little redundant. Ideas anyone?

The heart of an orphan

I often struggle to wrap my head around the enormity of the orphan crisis. Recently, this video made a big impact on me. There is so much truth here:

My heart was broken in two when I left Theo and Zhen's orphanage last year. After singing songs like "Jesus Loves the Little Children" and praying over them for over a month, I walked out the door with my boys. Maybe, perhaps, I put a little tiny piece of their heart back together. It's probably been ripped off again by now...a year later.

This IS going to require an army.

More Zhen

What a difference a year can make! Last year the Buddy Walk was too much for Zhen to handle. The crowds, the noise, the celebration pushed him over the edge.

There was hitting, slapping, biting and head butting as a result. Poor little guy.

This year Zhen experienced:

brotherly love,

proximity of two skulls without fear,

new friends,

and hugging!

Day to day is tough. But looking back in time, the healing is remarkable!

Zhen

Zhen is a tough nut. A tough nut to crack. He prefers to keep to himself and often slips quietly off to his room to play in silence. I'll never forget the heavy silence of his orphanage. It made me want to tip-toe around the place.

Apparently he's most comfortable by himself in quiet places, which means he's really not that comfortable in this house much of the time! But that's OK, right? We don't grow when we are comfortable, do we? We need to be stretched and challenged.

Living in this family has stretched and challenged Zhen.

And I'm starting to see the fruit of those challenges.

Zhen has never really been interested in playing with other people. Alongside, sometimes. Interacting and cooperating, no. He's also never really been interested in the TV other than to irritate people by turning it off, or the volume all the way up!

We look at this kid now:

He's found his groove all of a sudden! I know, you cant' really to see his face, but this was the best I could get without interfering with the fun. (And yes, those were his glasses that he threw. They really blend in with the carpeting. Not good.)

He's coming out of his shell and starting to really enjoy his family, other people, and life in general. I hope this is a trend that continues.

Heartfelt thanks from Project TLC

Thank you to all the people who took a step of faith and donated to Project TLC over the summer. We were able to assist a mental internot (institution) in Crimea with some really boring supplies. Our hope is that these gifts would free up resources to better feed and care for the children who reside there.

The leadership team of TLC has made plans to visit the facility very soon. Your gifts along with the proceeds of the Cupcakes for a Cause fundraiser last month will make it possible for us to meet needs that we find when we visit, needs we haven't even anticipated. Urgent medical procedures, therapy equipment, bedding...who knows what needs we will find?

Please consider any additional gifts as you are led. Paypal donations can be made using the link at the top of the page. Memo checks (please don't forget the memo) for Project TLC and mail to:

His Kids Too!

219 – B Delta Ct.

Tallahassee, FL 32303

Here is a translated breakdown of the items that were donated so far. Some things appear more than once because they were purchased at different locations/times. We will, of course, keep you updated. Heartfelt thanks!

Theo

This was my face when I realized that there was no SD card in my camera yesterday after taking (or not taking) photos of Theo boarding his Kindergarten bus for the first time!

Yep, Theo is an official Kindergartener!

And since I don't have any new photos to share, I thought I would share with you the truth about taking photos of Theo. The truth is that all you have to do is take 200 photos or so, to get a few good photos.

We had a really fun time last summer trying to get usable immigration and passport photos!

I'll try again tomorrow.

How typical is that?

When Ralphie was a baby I wondered what it was like to have a child with Down Syndrome. I mean, really, he was a baby. He was just like all the other 7 babies I had previously cared for. I was so curious what life would look like when he was older.

Ralph is not a baby anymore. He's four. And now I know. He's just like the 7 other children that have previously raised to this point. For the most part anyway. Communication is his biggest challenge.

He's pure boy.

He's busy.

He's so typical! So much so that I often forget about Down Syndrome altogether.

He's just Ralph.

He puts his underwear on like every other four year old boy I've ever known. How typical is that?

The difference

I often wonder what the difference is. What is it about orphanage life that is so damaging to a child?

Most children in orphanages are kept relatively clean. Most are kept fed. What is so magic about family life that allows children from hard places blossom and grow in amazing ways?

Take a look at these faces and tell me how we can live with the fact that 100's of millions of children do not have the love of a family? Thank you Susanna for sharing those beautiful children and difference that love can make.

When we wake up and get in tune with the heart of God, we will be tripping over each other to take them in and shower them with His love.

Theo, then and now.

This blog started as an adoption blog back in early 2010. I've been fumbling around with it for the past year or so since we arrived home with Theo and Zhen. They are part of our family now so I like to include them on our family blog, Ralph and the Crew.

I'm not quite sure what this blog wants to be anymore.

While I'm trying to decide what to do with this space, I'll leave you with a short video of my Theo. He's going to walk. He's getting it! Remember this kid?

He could barely hold his head up then. Well, look at him now!!

And no, my kids never wear clothes. Oh wait, that's clean laundry that's getting folded, so I guess they do! ha!

31 for 21 Challenge!

I'm taking the 31 for 21 Challenge here at Psalm68. This is a challenge to post every single day for the month of October to raise awareness for Down Syndrome. After all, October is Down Syndrome awareness month!

If you know someone with DS, give them a hug in honor of DS awareness month. If you don't know anyone with DS, I'm sorry.

Really, I am.

Taking a break.

I've been taking a little bloggy break. But, I'm working on a couple of neat projects. Can't wait to share them with you. Soon. Don't give up on me.

Putting the "fun" in!

Project TLC's first major fundraiser is coming up next weekend in Kearney, Nebraska.

Check out this news story: Cupcakes for a Cause. The paper even published a cute photo of Carrington, who is looking might chubby these days!

“If you’ve seen ‘Cupcake Wars,’ that’s what it will be like,” said Thompson, an organizer of the event. “We’re asking people to enter their cupcake displays, 48 cupcakes that are baked and decorated however they want and then the public is asked to come in and vote on those displays.”

Those awesome event organizers put the FUN in fundraising. Thank you ladies!

Here is Theo tearing into some cake. He's working on some chub, too.

Sharing Theo and Zhen

It is nice to be able to show Theo and Zhen going places and doing new things.

Yes, Theo is stuck in a stroller. He will be walking one of these days and will have even more freedom. Here he is at my son's triathlon last weekend. Afterward we had pizza for lunch. Let me tell you, Theo can pack away some serious pizza!

Zhen is in love with our ice cream maker. He turns the squeaky handle and he knows how to break up the ice with the stick. He's showing so much progress lately in understanding English and in good behavior.

We have a long, long way to go. Sometimes it seems impossible, but we still put one foot in front of the other and press on. Thanks for letting me share. :)

A Sweet Anniversary

A year ago on August 16th, I spent a few hours here. Waiting. Waiting for the "wizard" to bestow two magic passports upon me.

Successful at last, we raced to the orphanage to collect Theo and Zhen. I begged for a photo of Theo in his bed. He was in bed number one.



The ladies getting Zhen dressed to leave forever. What? No shoes?

Nope.

We walked out the front doors. No one was around. I could have grabbed a few extra kids and no one would have known. That's how many people cared that these boys were leaving forever.


I found that the ladies had decorated Theo before we got away with him.


I found out that he did in fact have the strength to roll over. And not much in the trunk to hold his diaper in place.


Our friends Bob and Judy helped us get our bags and children up onto the train. We pulled out of town just as the sun set in Simferopol.


On the train for 15 hours. I'm beat. Look at that tiny four year old!


Almost home, little dudes. Almost.

Happy got 'em day!

Surgery Tomorrow

Thank you for supporting TLC's efforts to help Andrei from Crimea. He is blind in one eye due to a horrible mistake by an eye surgeon several years ago in Ukraine. With your help we collected $575 to help this young man keep from losing sight in his other eye.

Andrei and his mother arrived in Chicago late last week. Here he is enjoying some Olive Garden. I wonder if he might gain a few pounds before he heads for home?! His surgery will take place tomorrow at 12:10pm Central Time. Please pray for him, his mother and the surgeon as well.

I learned a little more tonight about what Andrei is facing. He must remain in a face-down position for 2 weeks following the surgery. Can you even imagine? He is not a baby, so he understands what is at stake, but it's going to be very difficult for him and his mother. Eating, sleeping, everything...face-down at all times.

Also, please remember Andrei and Marina's host family. The family thought they would be hosting for one month, but the doctor informed them that Andrei cannot fly for at least two months after this surgery. A pretty huge change of plans there. Also, though the doctor has reduced his fees, the hospital is proving to be more costly than expected. Much to pray about.

Thank you.

If you wish contribute, checks may be mailed to:

Calvary Baptist Church
1017 N. School St.
Normal, IL 61761
And they will also send a tax deductible receipt. Please mark the check "PROJECT ANDREI"

Make Me Smile Monday!!

Still waiting on photos from Belogorsk, so here is something to make you smile...

From this:

To this, in one year:

Go ahead, you know you want to smile! Do it!

Thank you from Project TLC

Project TLC is pleased to share with you that in our first two months we have started and nearly completed or first two projects. The overwhelming positive reception we have received continues to strengthen our resolve. We can make a difference, however large or small, and God will be glorified.

Due to some logistical difficulties our distibution of aid to the mental institution in Belogorsk was delayed by about a week. We are waiting for funds to transfer and for the institution director's wish list to be translated for us. This assignment should be completed very soon and then we will have photos to share with you.

Our second project is to help a young man from Crimea get the surgery he needs to retain what is left of his eyesight. See Eyes of a Child. I have news from Andrei's pastor that he and his mother will arrive in the USA on August 4th and will be seen by the eye doctor the very next day.


Pastor Bob asked me to express his thankfulness to everyone who has been willing to help a little boy that they have never met. Project TLC is so happy to put a good sized dent in $2,000 that Andrei needs for his treatments. We would like to make a bigger dent and so until next Thursday we will dedicate contributions to Project Andrei. Your gifts are tax deductible as allowed by law. You may use the paypal button at the top of the blog page or send to:

His Kids Too!
219 – B Delta Ct.
Tallahassee, FL 32303
*note Project TLC on check memo

Thank you for your prayers and support. Thank you for sharing our stories with your families and friends. Thank you for sharig our projects on Facebook and Twitter. Thank you for allowing us to bring our passion for the children of Crimea to life.

Messed up tonight...

I'm a blubbering mess tonight. I can feel that fire flaming up inside my broken heart again.

It all started when I stumbled across some photos I took in Ukraine that I thought were lost. I was browsing through these photos while chatting with a friend who is presently over there adopting. She told me this story:

Friday I went in the sleeping room to see [a certain baby]. One of the babies fell back and got his head stuck in the crib railing. He was screaming and I took him out and yelled for the nannies to come. When they came I told them what had happened and showed them that the crib was now broken. They put him immediately back in his crib still screaming.

[A friend] said they really do believe that if they pick them up too much they will spoil them and they will cry more. So they put them in their cribs and leave them.

That story hit me like a sucker punch. This is what we are up against! It's so huge! I feel so small and powerless. I know that is what orphanage life is like. I was there. I saw it. I heard it. I smelled it.

But it has been almost a year and those memories are fading. Not gone, just softened by time.

As I was chatting with my friend I saw these photos and the memories came roaring back.

Here is Theo. Emaciated beyond belief. He is swallowing air. I can tell by his expression. He would continually swallow air and his belly would get hard as a rock. Then he would puke. Then he would start all over again.

The darlings in Theo's room. These kids were NEVER taken outside. Ever. And the little girl always had her hands tied up. The kids were left like this for long periods of time. No adults to be found.

Here is where I really lost it tonight. This is my sweetheart. He's looking right at me. Piercing my heart. This boy was so hungry, ravenous really, for a friendly voice or a little song. One day while laying in the big playpen, he was slapped around for daring to crawl over to see me. All I could think was, "don't these people fear God?"

My love again, trying to catch my eye. What a lovely son he would be. What a joy his mother and father tossed away.

Theo in pain.
Some days I couldn't wait until it was time to leave. How awful. But, I couldn't do anything to help him. My hands were tied.
Day after day.

Here is little miss Carrington. She would sit slumped over like this for hours at a time. No one cared. She was nothing to anybody. No wonder she wasted away.

So tonight my heart is thoroughly trashed again. I'm feeling overwhelmed by the huge-ness of the problems I'm facing in Ukraine. Am I wasting my time? Am I beating a dead horse? Will anyone come alongside me to encourage me?

How heartbroken our Father must be! These kids need so much. And yet, so little would make a big difference. I'll never give up on them. It's just hard to keep going sometimes.

Give justice to the weak and the fatherless;
maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute.
Rescue the weak and the needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked.

Psalm 82:3-4

Resilient

Resilient:

1. (of a substance or object) Able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed.

2. (of a person or animal) Able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions
3. Theo

I cried myself to sleep the evening after I met Theo for the first time. The last time I cried out to God like that was when we didn't think Ralphie would survive shortly after he was born. I don't have the words to describe my rage and heartbreak.

One year after we found Theo in such awful condition that we were reluctant to even share about it on this blog, he is gaining the confidence and strength he needs to walk independently. Just look!! He just started doing this today!!

Yesterday, Theo was playing around in the living room doing his little planks and pike positions. He really wants to be a big boy, walking and running like everyone else. Suddenly I noticed that he was slowly raising his upper body...he was going to stand up! Stand up without anything to pull up on!

I began to involuntarily squeal! Actually, it was more of a scream. Theo did indeed stand up but I screamed so loud I scared him and he fell back on his butt!! I'm continually blessed to call myself his mother. My boy keeps smashing low expectations. He's tough. He's a survivor. He IS resilient.

Looking back today...

ONE YEAR AGO

ON THE 3RD FRIDAY IN JULY

Eyes of a Child

In the eyes of a child there is joy, there is laughter

There is hope, there is trust, a chance to shape the future

For the lessons of life there is no better teacher

Than the look in the eyes of a child

On occasion you will hear me complaining about Zhen's eyes. Seriously, why couldn't the orphanage arrange to have his cataract removed when he was a baby? Then his vision could have developed normally as he grew. The sad truth is that in Eastern Europe, babies with disabilities just don't get the medical care that they need.

Then I stop whining. And I'm thankful. For I remember a bright and beautiful boy that I met at church in Ukraine last summer. Meet Andrei...

About two years ago, Andrei was having some problems with his eyes. His parents took him to an eye specialist in Kiev who recommended laser surgery! Cool huh?

After the laser surgery was performed, the doctor came out to talk to the family and said... "Oops, we made a mistake and your son is now blind in that eye". (Can you even imagine?! The word "malpractice" comes to my mind.) The doctors did not operate on the other eye at the time, (thank God!) but said that it would need surgery in the future.

Over the course of the next two years, Dema and Marina, Andrei's father and mother, home schooled Andrei because the doctor said that a blow to the head or a fall could make him permanently blind. Now, I ask you, is that any way for a young boy to live, in fear of getting bonked on the head or falling down? No rough housing with his little brother? No running?

Now Andrei is now down to 50% vision in his one good eye.

What a nice looking family! Andrei's father leads the singing at church and teaches young adults. His mother is the church pianist. This photo is a couple of years old.

Last Friday, Andrei was having some problems with his eye and so the doctor wanted to take his eye out (!!!) and coat with silicone to help preserve the eye. Well, instead of that (sheesh!) we would like to get Andrei to the United States as quick as possible so that the doctors here can work on him. Marina had an appointment today at the US embassy in Kiev and thankfully, she was able to get the visas they need to leave Ukraine right away.

In a couple of weeks Andrei and his mother will travel to Chicago. A doctor there believes that he can help save his one good eye. A nearby church has agreed to host mother and son for one month while Andrei receives treatment. The good doctor cannot treat Andrei for free, but he will reduce his fee. What a great opportunity!

In keeping with our mission to improve the lives of children in Crimea, Project TLC would like to assist this family with their expenses. We will dedicate contributions received over the next two weeks in order to preserve what is left of Andrei's limited eyesight.

The total projected need is at least $2000, so please share this far and wide, and donate as you are led. You may use the Paypal button here:

Or you may send your gifts to:

His Kids Too!
219 – B Delta Ct.
Tallahassee, FL 32303

*note Project TLC on check memo

God bless you!