Psalm 68:5-6

A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.

God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

I am Stepanie Nance. My family adopted two little boys with Down Syndrome from Ukraine in 2010. I hope to educate and to inspire you. I hope to make you laugh and to make you cry.

Come along for the ride. It's a wild one!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Second Impressions

**Please pardon any spelling errors! The system we are using (Russian?) marks nearly every single word as misspelled! **

Hey! Look at that little smile!

We told our facilitator before we met the boys that we wanted to start the paperwork and proceed with the adoption right away NO MATTER WHAT. I cannot think of anything that would have changed our minds upon meeting them. We were prepared to meet children with challenges and needs.

The first meeting with our boys was over in a flash. We didn’t really get any insight into the boys other than they really, really need out of there. Looking back a day or two, I can see that the first meeting isn’t really fair to the child or the prospective parent. Many couples come here looking for typically developing children and have to make a yes or no decision based on this first meeting. I feel bad for them. It takes a little more time than that to get a true idea what the child is like.

For instance, Alec did not or could not respond to us during the first meeting. He just sort of hung in my arms like a rubber chicken! The caregivers said that he does not understand or respond to anything. I was up all night that night crying out to God, trying to find enough peace to sleep. How does He allow this to happen?

When we went for our first official visit on Saturday morning, I got to see a little more of my precious boy. He can smile! He enjoys music! He can pull his sock off in a flash! Yes!! Thank you Lord for confirmation that he is really in there.

During our Saturday afternoon visit Alec began to show me that he can use his voice. He can vocalize to communicate when he is happy and when he is hurting. I think he is hurting much of the time. I just wish that I could do something about it, but my hands are tied. I'm not allowed to do anything for him.

On a funny (and much lighter) note, Alec’s caregivers asked me to bring diapers for him. No problem, I told them. What size does he need? They said to bring size four. Wha??? Ralph doesn’t ever wear fours!! They said to bring size four because he is four years old!!! I couldn’t make this up!

Also, when we came for our first official Saturday morning visit, we didn’t have a permission form, a stamped slip of paper from the orphanage attorney. Oops! Someone forgot. They were not going to let us see the boys! I was not about to go all weekend without playing with them so we called our facilitator and handed the caregivers the phone. They rattled on in Russian for a little while and then we were good, I guess, because we didn’t have any more problems all weekend long.


  1. Girl, you are strong!! Hang in there!! Praying for you.

  2. oh he is so just so cute. he's there.
    you know what you were feeling that first night is kinda how i felt when I first meet my Aden and many of us feel all the questions...and the big one "can I do this?..."
    so greatful for your second visit.

  3. I think all the little ones in there pretty much lose who they are till they have someone who lets them know their wanted..I bet Alec feels it in his bones! He knows you want him & God knew exactly who he needed to come out of his shell...:D Bet you he's just gonna keep on blowing you away with all he CAN do, but never knew anyone wanted him too. & yeah, size 4 my foot! I guess they don't have babies at home!

  4. keeping you all in our praayers

  5. That same scenario happened with us about the permission slip and the weekend. It worked out ok for us too.

    First of all, Alec is so lucky to have you. You brought tears to my eyes. The orphanage workers told us that Dasha had never smiled or laughed until she spent time with me in July and after that she did all of the time. When we went back in December for her adoption, she came back out of her shell after the second visit. Then she was raiding my diaper bag for snacks just like she did in July. lol! I'm just so happy to hear that he is opening up and responding so well to you. And that little smile...awww! All he needed was a good mama to love on him and give him something to smile about. :) He's beautiful! I do love his yellow Urkel pants too. ;)

    And Zhenya! It does my heart SO much good to see him smiling so big!! What an answered prayer!! He is adorable!!
    I am SO happy for you all! Praying the rest of the process will go quickly and smoothly.
    God bless!

  6. Kristy! I was thinking of you the other day! You see, we spied your son's photo on the wall in the hallway outside the doctor's office. We were waiting for her to go over the boys' medical info. Actually, there are two identical framed photos of him there!

  7. Awww! Thank you for letting me know! That's so nice that they still have them up! I need to get a picture of Dasha and John Paul together sent to them. I'm just not sure how to go about it. I took him the picture of John Paul when we went back for Dasha. When you have a translator tell the director that we said hello if you think about it. I know you'll have a lot of other things on your mind, like getting your boys out of there! lol! Just if you think about it. ;)

  8. You know, I only remember sending one picture. The director had it in his office. I don't know??? Just happy that they have it up! Thanks again for letting me know.



  © Web Design by Poppies Blooming 2010

Back to TOP