Friday

Friday was not quite as hot here in Crimea. It has been a pressure cooker her for nearly two weeks. Some people say that this is the hottest summer in 1000 years!

Since it was a cooler morning, look what we found when we walked through the gates on Friday...Zhen and friends out for a stroll.


Zhen likes him some Wesley!

Honestly, I think this kid just prefers to hang out with men. I think he is tired of all the women in his life pushing him around!

These women even make him wear shoes and a hat. The kid can't catch a break here.

He has figured out how to make this vibrating toy work! Smart little fella.

Smart fella with lightning fast hands.

Those eyes. They just turn me into a puddle.

Getting curious about the camera.

This poor old stroller is held together with packing tape. I like to look at the photo of this empty stroller because it reminds me that my boys will soon be outta here!

For the dads out there...guest post from this dad.

How it all began for me...

Most of you know the story of how we got to this point in our adventure. You have heard Steph’s story. I kinda stayed back and watched as things happened.

Ralph was born and it changed our whole way of thinking and our way of seeing people with special needs. I have a cousin who is almost 30 now that has Down Syndrome, so I was no stranger to it. We have a friend whose daughter has DS and she is over 40 now. But to have a son who has DS, we would never imagined. When the midwife told us that Ralphie had DS, we both looked at each other and said what a blessing! That was pretty much our reaction to have God give us a gift like Ralph, to trust us to care for him and bring him up in God’s word.

Well, my loving wife being who she is, started researching and learning all she could about Down Syndrome and Pulmonary Hypertension. How common it is, what it is, how to teach and give them all the advantages of learning. Well it was during this research that she found a website called Reece’s Rainbow. It is a group that helps children with special needs around the world find forever families that will love them and raise them. Not only do these kids have DS, but all sorts of health issues, disabilities, fetal alcohol syndrome, HIV. You name it they have it. I guess in some countries, when a child is born with a disability they are taken from their parents and put into an orphanage or institution of some sort. They would be a burden on society and are no good to society. How sad is that? Stephanie started raising money for these kids and being a great advocate for RR.

It must have been sometime before Ruby was born that she came to me and asked if we could maybe adopt a child on RR one day. I pretty much just blew her off and said, uh yeah, well maybe. I don’t know...you know we have 9 of our own now. She just went about her business and left me alone. She would show me kids all the time. Lets see there was Maxim, Charley, Igor, Anystasia, and many, many more. I felt for these kids, wished someone would adopt them. She would drop hints every now and then that she sure wished she could adopt one of these kids. Stephanie was never pushy, she would just show me a new kid, send me a link to read about this family or that family adopting a child or 2 or 3 in some cases.

Little did I know that God was working on my heart as well! As Stephanie was showing me pictures of children, God was opening my eyes. Things were good, good job, great home. He was saying to me, look you have everything you can possibly need. You need to sit down with your wife and really look into this adoption. I struggled with it, I knew what I was being led to do. but like so many of us we fight it, hold out, go against what we are supposed to do. Then one night I was out of town for work, when she sent me a picture of “Alec”. What a cute kid, in danger of being transferred to an institution for the rest of his soon to be short life. I prayed for guidance and clarity, wisdom. I had just gone to a seminar put on by Fred Stoeker, and he talked about having oneness with your wife and what it meant to have that and what it took to have it. The sacrifices one has to make to have that kind of relationship with your spouse. I knew what I had to do!

It was Stephanie’s birthday when I got home, so I took her out to eat. We were enjoying our dinner and conversation when I said look, I know you have been asking me about adopting a child from Ukraine. Well, I said, what will it take to get it done? If this is what you really want and what you feel led to do then let’s get it done! Oh, by the way Happy Birthday! Well that was how Alec came to be part of our family.

That was one addition, but how did we end up with Zhen too? She was looking at a picture of Alec when I came home from work one Friday and she said this is the one we are going to commit to. And I said ok, oh wait, who is that little guy, the picture above Alec’s? She said oh that is Zhenya, he is in the same orphanage as Alec. I said he is a handsome little guy. Then I laughed and said you know what is going to happen? We are going to get over there and we will end up bringing him home too, and walked out of the room. I came home Monday from working and she said ok, it is done...I just committed to Alec and Zhenya! I don’t remember what my first reaction was, but ok, so now we bring home two! (editorial comment from Stephanie - actually James gave me the OK to commit to Zhenya as well on Valentines Day. I'll never forget it!)

And this is where we are at today. My loving, caring wife is half way around the world with my oldest son by her side, in the final stages of bringing home our babies! Theodore Honor and Zhen Ezekiel Nance! Hurry home guys, the rest of the family wants their turn to play with you and show you the love you deserve!

Another hot day...

Another hot day here in beautiful Simferopol. You pronounce it sim-fur-ropel. :)

It is 3:30pm and I have to make a decision, do we visit the orphanage this afternoon or not? The temperature outside is 100F and the heat index is 104F. I obviously can not take the children out in such weather. The question is will they be better off sticking to their regular daily schedule or getting dressed to visit with me? And, does it matter considering that your regular daily schedule is lying in a crib all day long? If that is the case are the children better off staying in the orphanage, where the rooms can be as hot or hotter than 90F, or coming to stay with me in an apartment without a crib, playpen, highchair or childproofing of any sort for the next 4-5 days when we will uproot them yet again to a different apartment in a different city, similarly inappropriate for said children?

You see I have far more questions than answers. Some questions are pertinent and some are peripheral. Is a dog in a bank lobby an omen? What is a Lombard? Why are these disposable diapers hanging on the line? Who is meant to adopt these funny looking children? Can only cute children find homes? Why does the blue handle turn on the hot water?

If the uncertainty of what to do about the children isn’t enough, I find myself visited almost daily by mysteries and intrigues. Some of these I can share with you and some of them I cannot. Today a woman approached me in front of the orphanage. She was nervous and weeping, trying her best to speak a little English. She introduced herself and stopped to wipe away a tear. “Mother” she said. “Christian.“ My heart was in my throat, wondering who this woman could possibly be!

I asked her to sit down with me as she was obviously under stress. My mind was swirling instantly with thoughts of one of my boys birth mother tracking me down. But why? She never visited him, she gave him away forever. I pointed to Zhen and then Theo. “Mamma?” I asked. No.

The woman held a piece of paper with some writing on it…broken English, perhaps done with the aid of an online translating program. The words “Happy bathday to your, Micha! 08.08.10” jumped out at me.

Misha!! Instantly I knew. This was Misha’s God mother and she wanted to wish him a happy birthday and to know that he is ok. She asked me for photos and gave me her address and phone number and she slipped away as quickly as she appeared. I almost cannot believe that this woman spent the time and the money to come to the orphanage today on the off chance that I would still be here and that I would be able to help her. I’m fascinated and stunned.

Our visit with the boys was very nice today. We spied some children of interest and decided to play near them in the hopes that I could pass along some much wanted information about them. Of course, it is completely against the rules to take photos, but no one can tell me not to look with my eyes, right?

We didn’t last long in the play spot, but it was long enough for me to gather some information. The group of children who “own” the play spot showed up and we were asked through coughing and apologetic looks to move along. Our visit was ended when the heat started to rise and the children became thirsty and unhappy.

After handing the children over I showed Wesley the market near the orphanage. We walked through, bought him a little bottle of juice, some batteries, looked at some junk (literally - old tools, miscellaneous metal pieces and bath fixtures and such) and bought some diapers to take back to the orphanage.

I brought Zhen size 4 diapers initially when James and I first got here. He’s not that big, but I think they like an extra absorbent diaper. Probably the same reason why they asked for size 4 diapers for Theo. How they would keep a size 4 from falling off his little boney butt is beyond me!! I do know that they use a cloth diaper under the disposable diaper. The cloth diaper catches the poop and the disposable one keeps the clothing and bed sheets dry. The disposable diapers are then hung out on the line to dry and use over again. Pretty clever, huh? I guess you do what you have to do to care for these children.

Today I bought size 3's. I don't want to lug two packs of diapers around on the train or plane, or whatever we decide to take back to Kyiv. Hope they don't get mad!

The caregivers say that the orphanage spends all it’s money on medicine for the children, because there are so many sick children here. So much, they say that there is often not money left to buy the everyday things that children need. I have no way of knowing how much of that is true. But for the children it is reality either way…they often do not have the things that they need.

The children of Yolochka are mostly happy, the ones that are not in pain anyway. Why not? This is the only life that they know. My father died six months before I was born. I never knew him. I never understood what I was missing until I saw my little girl, my sixth child, snuggling and smooching on her daddy. Only then did I get a glimpse of what I had missed.

The kids need daddies and mommies and nutritious food and lots of love. Gosh, that almost sounds too simple!

Another fun filled day...

Another busy, fun filled day in Ukraine!

Yesterday when I returned to the apartment I found that my first born son was waiting for me! I’m so happy that he is here to help me and experience this amazing place.

After a morning jog to the Tatar market for water (we were both quite dehydrated) and some sweet rolls we took off at 8:15 for the tax office. Here in Ukraine, if you don’t want to wait in a ginourmous line you show up well before they open. We were quite early, but even so, there was one lady ahead of us in line.

So guess what, the Tax ID lady wanted extra photocopies. (Everyone here wants another document or an extra copy of something. It is about to drive me mad.) Our facilitator told us to sit and not leave the lady’s office while she RAN to get the copies made. We actually got fairly quick service at the tax office after she returned.

Next stop, get the Tax ID slips notarized. I think. We just sat in the car.

Next stop, detsky dom. Wesley and I get the children while the facilitator does some paperwork. This was the most fun part of the day. I handed the ladies some outfits for the children and they dressed them for us to take to the passport agency. The boys looked so cute! Zhen wore one of Ralph’s old favorites. Ralph does not fit into it anymore but it was roomy on Zhen. So now I know that Zhen is a bit smaller than Ralph.

Theo wore a 3-6 month sized one piece outfit. It fit him beautifully! Here he is with one of my favorite caregivers. This lady always has a smile for us. She was very emotional when she first found out that we had agreed to adopt Theo. She is kind to all the children.

One of the caregivers from Zhen’s group insisted on leaving the orphanage to to go to the passport office with us. I guess our facilitator talked her out of going. Good thing…we were gone a very long time! At the passport agency you must ring a bell to ask to be let into the building. Add to that a passport lady who needs to feel very important and who wants to let you know how very busy she is and what do you get? You wait outside for 20 minutes and try to buzz in several times before they even let you into the waiting room!! It was so hot out there and Theo started to cry. I hope someone pokes this lady in the eye.


Finally, our facilitator was able to talk someone into letting us in the building. The waiting room was cool and air conditioned…and EMPTY. I had no problem waiting in the wonderful coolness, but we were soon led into a room for photos.

This was not too fun. The boys are far too small to just sit in the chair and be seen by the camera. I suggest sitting them on something, but I am ignored by everyone in the room. I tried sitting sideways and putting Theo on my leg. Our facilitator said I was too big (ummm…you mean fat??) and to let her do it. She ended up holding them out to the side, hanging off her hands. So her hands are in both of their passport photos! Zhen just would NOT look at the camera. It took several tries before we got something acceptable. His photo is hilarious…he looks very mean in it!

After this we load up a new car, with a new driver and head over to the social worker‘s office. Something was wrong with our regular driver’s car so he sent us a replacement. (I know what is wrong with his car - it is mad at him for the way he drove yesterday!) Our facilitator had some papers to drop at that office so we waited in the car. It took her almost 45 minutes, meanwhile Theo started to cry. He was hungry and missing lunch, but what could we do? The car was air conditioned…the front seat anyway. The back seat still gets hot and this particular driver must have had all the vents blowing on his stinky armpits so you can imagine how pleased I was to be waiting so long in a hot, stinky car.

After taking the children back to the orphanage and making sure that they would get some lunch we headed to our last stop of the day…the bank. Oh my. Where do I start? This place was so strange. There was a skinny man squatting, smoking at the entrance. He followed us in and spoke to our facilitator. Apparently he is some sort of security guard. He had placed a table and a chair so that they were blocking some of the teller windows that were closed for their lunch break. One window was open and our facilitator handed over our documents. The guard instructed us to sit on a bench on the other side of the table and chair. I had to move the chair to get over there. I didn’t put it back just right so he came over and fixed it so no one could get through. It is 1:50pm.

OK, I had to cut out a bunch of stuff from my personal journal here. No need to go into all that garbage here. Long story short, they want another document. 3pm. A dog wanders into the bank. No lie. We are dripping sweat and tired. Finally our hardworking facilitator comes back, I sign some slips of paper and the cashier counts out the money. We are done.

It is cloudy and a bit cooler outside. What a pleasant surprise. About four raindrops land on the car windshield as we head for home. I pay the driver 400 grivna for today. That’s all I have in my wallet excepting bus money.

I’ve been here too long I think. While waiting at the bank I had to close my eyes because the signage in Cyrillic was driving me insane. I kept compulsively trying to sound out the same words over and over again. I swear I had to close my eyes to keep from trying to decode the multitude of words on the walls around me.

When we got home, Wesley collapsed on the couch and I checked email. We had time to get ready to go to church this evening but we were both feeling rotten, tired, and half sick. Sunday we will go and we will bring the children. I want to thank all the people there who have prayed for us and wished us well. We are so pleased to have made some great friends here. We are blessed by them.

Yesterday's photos

I don't know whether it was the heat or the car trip that made me feel so sick yesterday. I'm still feeling bad today and I went and uploaded these photos in reverse order. I'm feeling a little mean today, so sue me.

The beach in Yalta, or one of them anyway. Lovely no? Everyone wears a bikini here...men, women, young, old, thin, fat...bikini. I had no desire to join them.

No sand here. Tiny pebbles. It reminded me of a parking lot. With a bunch of half-naked people!

This is an elaborate photo place. There are all sorts of fancy costumes to get your picture taken in.

Same portrait studio, different set.

The mountains in the distance run right into the sea. Beautiful!

These sailboat are waiting to take people on rides in the sea, I think.

Some scenery on the way into Yalta.

We drove by this beach at 6am and lots of people were already out swimming.

Another view of the same sandy beach, which happens to be outside of Feodosia. We were very jealous of these people having fun on the beach.

This was our first stop of the day...the administration building of the city of Kerch. We arrived at 7am and tried to sleep in the car until about 8am. But there was a beeping noise that kept bothering me. I found out later that the beeping was a crosswalk that beeps for blind people. Maybe half-deaf people, too, since it was so loud!

Sweet Success!

Today was birth certificate day.

It started at 3:30 am and we rolled out of town at 4:30 am on our way to Kerch, where Theodore was born. The driver nearly ran over a dog twice on the way out of town! We got to Kerch at 7am. We waited in the car until nearly eight and then went inside to ensure that we were first in line. The woman who takes care of the birth certificates was so nice! Really, this level of service with a smile is unheard of around these parts. She congratulated me a half hour later when the new bith certificate was handed over. James and I are listed as parents!

We were feeling pretty good that things went so fast in Kerch because we still had to travel to Yalta today. On the way our of town our driver made an error, turned the wrong way on a street and was pulled over by the traffic cop. The cop wanted to take his license away!! It took sooooo long to clear this up. I think some money changed hands, but I really don’t want to know. Police here are not heroes. Theirs is considered one of the lowest of occupations.

By the time this was done and we started out again the traffic had started to get heavy. It was very frustrating for me sitting in the backseat. Not only the traffic, but the stunt-driver style of driving. I’ve never been carsick before today. The hair-raising ride, plus the intense humid heat, plus not much to eat made me feel quite sick all afternoon.

We had to backtrack all the way to travel to Yalta. We were several hours late due to the traffic. This is the holiday season and Yalta is a popular destination.. It is a very beautiful city surrounded by mountains and the sea. Just gorgeous. And HOT. The administration building felt like a steam bath. I was feeling very light headed and thought I might pass out. I kept thinking of that song, Breath of Heaven, hold me together…and I would imagine a cool breeze blowing on my face.

The girl at the administration office in Yalta was friendly, but slow. S.L.O.W. I think that Zhens’ birth certificate may have been all she did today! When we were finally done our driver took me to the seaside for a stroll. I can say that I was splashed by a wave of the Black Sea. For some reason it reminded me of Lake Michigan. It was 6pm as we left to go home for the evening.

It was a hard day, but we accomplished everything that we set out to do! Success!

I’m beat. Photos tomorrow, OK?

Saturday's photos

See the expression on Zhen's face?


That's what he looks like when he is about to grab the camera!

Zhen loves books. He thinks they are delicious!

Oh, look! Pictures!

Theo is secure in his manhood. The frilly pink socks don't bother him a bit.

When you rarely receive any sort of loving touch, every little touch tickles!

So I asked the ladies in Zhen's room to help me get photos for immigration. The sweet ladies dug up a white sheet for the background and quick slipped a pretty pink shirt on him! *sigh* No, I won't be using this particular photo!

After pictures it was potty time!!

I walked through the market today. Milk or sour cream anyone? As I walked past the guy with the funnel licked some cream off his fingers. Must be good stuff!

Only one more day until I pick up the court decree! Then early Tuesday morning I'll be traveling to the boys' birth cities for new birth certificates. I can't wait to see some of the countryside. And the Black Sea, of course.

Wesley is leaving Sunday afternoon and arriving here Tuesday morning. That is a long trip, time change or no. Maybe I'll have him do a guest post. What do you think?